what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
