Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize