it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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