He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
