Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
