Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
