She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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