i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
