Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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