You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
