his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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