come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Operation Purity has been aborted
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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