I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
