Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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