I won't be sarcastic... just naked
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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