You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
