return my video game
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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