I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
