What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
