jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
