Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
