I can't breathe out the right side of my face
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
