people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just blew my weed a kiss
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
