this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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