I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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