Do you still have your period?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
