The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
