The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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