do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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