toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what day is it and did you see me today?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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