had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My vagina is very pro this idea
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
