I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
