you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
