I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
