Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Everything about him screamed your future.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
