Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
