so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
