so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
