i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
