he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
this boner is exhausting
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
