I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
