we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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