How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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