Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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