my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
