i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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