You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
