my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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