ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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