I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
