So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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