i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
