You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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