her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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