Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize