Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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