I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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