I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I could fuck to npr.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
