I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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