Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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