he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
