just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
