need another drink. this is the easiest way
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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